A Jellicle Christmas Carol
by An Fhomhair
Summary: Well, tis the season to be jolly! Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer ask Munkustrap about the Christmas story, and thus he proceeds to tell it to the tribe...with some interruptions...:
1. Chaptire Uno!

Authoress's Note: Well, I'm so glad to finally get this posted! I wrote it back in August, but it only seemed logical to post it in the Christmas season. I hope you enjoy it, as usual I am happy to receive Constructive Criticism, and any comments.

Disclaimer: Sure I own the Jellicles. Didn't you hear how Hannah recently took over the world with the aid of Chewbacca and the mighty cheese monsters from Outer space!

...or not. .:sighs:.

A Jellicle Christmas Carol

Chapter One

"'Ey, Munkus!" a petite tiger-striped queen and her taller male counterpart made their way over the snow-covered chain-link fence, into the lot dubbed, 'The Jellicle Junkyard' by its inhabitants. Rumpelteazer grinned at the tall silver tabby standing next to the fence, presumably overseeing the cats of the Junkyard.

"Rumpel! Long time no see! And Mungojerrie, too!" Munkustrap helped Rumpelteazer down and waved to Mungojerrie, who gave him a quick salute. "Where have you two rogues been?"

"Rogues. I _loike_ tha'." Replied Mungojerrie, laughing. He gestured with a paw. "We've been 'ere an' there."

"Ou' and abou'." Said Rumpelteazer, nodding in agreement. "And 'ow've ye been lately?"

"Oh, quite well." Said Munkustrap. "The humans are always more agreeable in the winter holiday, I've noticed. Haven't scolded me for exercising my claws on the cushins, lately." He laughed. Receiving a surprised look from Mungojerrie, he added, "Well, sometimes I can't help myself, you know…"

"Ah know. Jus' didn't realise tha' you, of all cats, clawed furniture…don' seem like you! Not all….Jellicle Protector-ish!" he replied, for lack of a better adjective than "protector-ish".

"Oh, stop it!" replied Munkustrap, but jokingly. He shook his head. "Well, I'm glad you're both back from…wherever." he shrugged. "Just in time for Christmas. Oh, which reminds me: Merry Christmas Eve!"

"Same to ye." Chorused the tiger cats.

Rumpelteazer scratched her head. "Ye know," she said suddenly, "Why do we recognize Christmas?" she asked. "I know it's a holiday…but ah nevah really un'erstood the 'ole meanin'…" Munkustrap had opened his mouth to reply when, suddenly, a small blur of white, orange, and brown fur whizzed over to them and threw itself at Rumpelteazer, nearly knocking her off her feet. "Whoa…watch it, Etcy!" she panted, eyes wide. Etcetera grinned up at her older sister.

"Rumpel!" she screamed happily. "You're here!"

"Etcetera!" Rumpelteazer screamed back. "_You're _here!"

Etcetera rolled her eyes at her sister. "Why wouldn't I be here?" she said.

"An' why wouldn' I be 'ere, either, fer Christmastime?" pouted Rumpelteazer. "Y'really think I'm tha' dumb, tha' I'd fergit ye all and jus' run off?"

"Yup."

"Oh, thanks." Muttered Rumpel sullenly. "Ah'm so unappreciated!" she put her hand over her eyes and pretended to sob dramatically. Mungojerrie and Munkustrap just looked at each other and shook their heads simultaneously. You couldn't really understand how strange Rumpelteazer truly was until you knew her so well that you wished you didn't know her that well. Confusing, eh?

Suddenly Etcetera glanced past Rumpelteazer, and a half-demonic grin lit up her kitten features. "Oh no." moaned Mungojerrie.

"Tugsyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" with a squeal, Etcetera disappeared in a blur of fur. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer snickered rudely.

"Are you sure an obsession like that isn't unhealthy?" said Mungojerrie, half-jokingly.

Rumpelteazer shrugged. "Etcy's already sick in the head."

"That's such a terrible thing to say!" exclaimed Munkustrap. "It's not as if she's...oh, depraved, or anything." This only sent the striped Jellicles into another bout of guffaws.

"We don' exactly know tha..." replied Rumpelteazer, laughing hysterically. Munkus gave her the 'I-don't-see-why-it's-so-funny' look that could beat that of any schoolteacher. She shrugged at him, then appeared to calm herself. "But," she said, more seriously, "As ah was sayin', 'fore Etcy made 'er...dramatic entrance," she looked down at her paws as though she was embarrassed, "Well...I was wonderin'...about Christmas, y'know, Munk?" she looked eagerly at him. "Ah know we celebrate it, but, it don't seem like anyone ever told me why. It's jus', somethin' you do, y'know? _Do _you know?"

"Of course!" replied Munkustrap, without thinking. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude. But, come to think of it, I don't think that most of the younger cats in the tribe _have _heard the Christmas story, Rumpelteazer. I never really thought about it before."

"Story?" said Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer in unison, excited grins spreading over their faces. Munkustrap couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah. It's very important to the humans." he said. "It's one of the central ideas of their religion, or at least a lot of the humans' religion."

"If there's a story..." said Mungojerrie suddenly. Rumpel appeared to get the same idea as her partner. Her eyes sparkled as she grasped Munkustrap's paw.

"You kin tell us!" she exclaimed. "Jus' like you tell about th' Pekes an' Pollicles!" she giggled like a kitten. "Yer good at that stuff."

"Well..." said Munkustrap cautiously. The Christmas story wasn't exactly like 'The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles', but...maybe Teazer had a point. He chuckled to himself, then nodded to the 'notorious cats'. He smiled. "Yes. I'll tell the story to the tribe."

The same identical grins spread over Mungo and Teazer's faces. Mungojerrie gave his salute to the tall silver tabby. "An' if ye need anybody to act out any parts, we're always roight here fer ya!" he said. Munkustrap grinned.

"Thanks, but I think I'll be okay." he replied. Rumpelteazer rolled her eyes again and she and Mungojerrie grinned good-naturedly. Munkustrap looked around, and shivered as a cold wintry wind blew over them. He looked at the sky; it was beginning to darken, as the fiery, orange sun sank beneath the treetops and buildings. Then he looked back at the cats. "Suppose I should see if we can get the tribe together?" he said.

"Yes. Tell them it's real importan' so they listen to ya!" said Rumpelteazer; Munkustrap nodded faux-seriously and turned to the rest of the tribe.

" Could I have everybody at the tire?"

Chatter ceased abruptly as the older queens and toms herded the kittens over to the traditional Jellicle gathering spot. Munkustrap looked round and smiled, nodding to some and gazing tenderly at his mate, Demeter. She spotted him and waved, her shy smile creeping onto her lips. Munkus gave her a last glance and looked over the assembled Tribe again. "Has anybody seen Old Deuteronomy to-day?" he inquired.

"I have naae seen him 'round te-day, lad, but he'll join us soon enough, eh?" said Skimbleshanks. "Jest saving his appearance for later."

"Yes, you are more than likely right." Munkustrap agreed. "But, I suppose I should tell you why I called you to assemble now." The Jellicles quieted again, and Munkustrap saw Victoria nudge Mr. Mistoffelees, who had been staring hypnotically at a shiny pink light bulb, which presumably had come off a string intended for a Christmas tree decoration. "Somebody…" he paused and smiled, "Asked me about Christmas. Why we commemorate it." He heard Mungojerrie whisper something, which was responded to by a familiar giggle. "So I agreed to tell the Christmas story…maybe some of you know it, perhaps you have no idea what it is. Either way, I hope you will hear me out as I tell you of it."

Now the Kittens were beginning to look interested, and the adults were smiling-probably reminiscing about special Christmases. Munkustrap continued:

"I had hoped Old Deuteronomy would be here to join us in the telling of this tale-it would probably make a lovely change from the 'Pekes and the Pollicles' and 'Growltiger'…" this was greeted with ascensions and snickers "But, I'm, er, _relatively_ sure that he will arrive in due time." He smiled nervously at the congregation.

"Although due time could mean anything from 10 minutes to 10 years…" mumbled Tumblebrutus, but he was silenced with a evil look from Jellylorum and a typical Jellylorum reprimand. Munkustrap paused politely, waiting for everybody to quiet down, until the tribe once again sat quietly, waiting for him to continue. The silver tabby smiled again.

"Anyhow, we're gathering together for a telling of the Christmas story!" Munkustrap finally finished, with some considerable relief.

"What's it about?" a voice from the tribe yelled out; Pouncival-go figure.

Munkustrap let his head drop into his paws, then finally looked back up. "Pounce," he muttered, "What do you think it's about?"

"Oooh, I know-Christmas!"

"Good job." Replied Munkus. "Now, anyways…this story- The Christmas Story- starts out a long time ago, back in a place called Nazareth, with a lady named Mary, and her husband, Joseph…"

A/N: Well, that's chapter one. I hope it isn't too short. I was planning to post this whole story on Christmas Eve, but I decided to spread it out and post the chapters at different times. So yah. We-ell then…reviews pweese? Jemima eyes

Le gra go deo,

Eponine


	2. Chaptire Duo!

**A Jellicle Christmas Carol**

**Chapter Two**

"Joseph!" shrieked Pouncival. "What kind of a stupid name is that!" Moans of annoyance arose from the assembly at this exclamation. "Well, it's stupid!" he muttered sullenly. His sister Victoria, sitting next to him, rolled her eyes as if to say 'How typical of Pounce'.

"Well, obviously it's his kind of stupid name." Mistoffelees put in.

"Dur!" added Etcetera. She and Electra dissolved into giggles for no particular reason at all. Munkustrap gritted his teeth, rolled his eyes, and spoke with overdone patience.

"Pouncival," he said calmly, "You're missing the point, and interrupting the story. It doesn't matter what the peoples' names are- it's the morals and the significance that this tale is supposed to portray. Do you understand?"

"What if his name was Poophead? Then would it matter?"

This sent the kittens and even some of the "grown-up" cats into a bout of hysterical laughter. Even Munkus had to smile in amusement. "Maybe it would matter then." He admitted. "But his name is Joseph, so it doesn't."

"Whose name is Joseph?" A familiar voice, filled with fatherly warmth and the wisdom of many years, met the tribe from across the junkyard. An elderly gray cat lumbered over, smiling, much to the joy of the Jellicles. "I see you're back at narrating, Munkustrap. You always were good at that, son, weren't you?"

Munkus's striped face cracked into a grin. "Father!" he followed his tribe over to where the old cat was standing and embraced him. "So you decided to turn up, did you?" he said, his voice ringing with a hint of amusement. "I guess you can tell everyone was waiting for you."

"Indeed." Replied Old Deuteronomy, as he reached down to share a greeting with Cassandra. "Well, I shan't keep you from your business, O High Storyteller-"

"Oh, father, be quiet!" laughing, Munkustrap made his way back to the pile of discarded household items where he'd been sitting. "Well, friends, as you can obviously see, my father is now here, so I suppose we shall continue?"

"Yes!" came from Rumpelteazer, who beamed at him. Munkustrap grinned back.

Munkus cleared his throat and started in. "Anyways. So this couple, Mary and Joseph, had to go to Bethlehem. Because they were unfortunate enough to be humans, they had to go so they could pay taxes. Does anyone know where Bethlehem is?"

Mungojerrie waved his paw wildly. "Oh, Oi know!" he grinned proudly. "I's in…uhhh…" Mungo scratched his head. "Ohh! I's in Germany"!"

"Well…actually, it's in Israel, but that's a good guess." Munkustrap offered. "And this took place in Israel quite a long time ago, so they had to ride there on camels…or donkeys perhaps. I'm not quite sure."

"What are camels?" queried Jemima, looking confused.

"They're a kind of flower!" Electra told her friend importantly.

"Actually, dear, they're very large animals with humps." Said Jellylorum.

"Ohhh…." Electra said. "Why were they riding those?"

Munkustrap shrugged. "I don't know. I suppose it's just another example of how backwards the human species is." He told her professionally.

"So they were going to Bethlehem…" Victoria prompted, who was rather interested in all this. Her green eyes looked pointedly at Munkustrap, who obliged in continuing.

"Yes. It was in the winter- it was tomorrow's date, many years ago- and so it was bitterly cold." Munkustrap said dramatically(though he wasn't really sure if it was cold or not) "And to top it all off, Mary was having a baby."

"She was 'aving kittens?" said Rumpel cheerfully.

"Erm…no. Usually humans don't have kittens." Said Munkus a bit uncomfortably. "That would be a rather odd occurrence." This drew immature snickers from Alonzo, who got a 'look' from Jellylorum. Munkustrap rubbed the back of his neck with his paw and continued, aware of the thirty-something pairs of shining eyes that were focused on him, and were becoming a bit unnerving. "They went to Bethlehem, and naturally they needed somewhere to stay. So they went to the Inn-"

Tumblebrutus wrinkled his nose in thought. "Where did they go in?"

"The Inn!"

"Yeah, I know, but where?"

"They went in the inn."

"That doesn't make any sense, Munk. Quit repeating yourself. I just wanna know where they went in."

"The INN!" Munkustrap finally bellowed. Tumblebrutus looked disturbed. "An Inn, Tumble. An inn is like a hotel. It's a building where you can stay." He rubbed his head. "Sorry about the misunderstanding."

"Why'd they go there?" broke in Pouncival. "Why wouldn't they just sleep in a nice…um…junkyard or something!" he rolled his eyes. "Humans are so wimpy."

Munkustrap agreed, "Well, they are a pretty backwards race. Maybe that's why." He shrugged.

Old Deuteronomy pointed out, "They do feed us, however. And the vicar has a very comfortable home." He laughed. "And don't forget, this very story that you're telling has been recorded and told by humans." Munkus smiled sheepishly and nodded.

He started again, "However, there was no room at the inn for them, and they were forced to sleep in-"

"A ROCK!" screamed Pouncival.

"No, a giant eggplant!" argued Victoria.

"Ah'm pos'tive tha' it were a dead hen." Exclaimed Mungojerrie. Everyone gave him a weird look. "uh, nevah min'…"

Munkustrap smiled and replied, "Actually, none of you are correct, sadly. They ended up sleeping in a stable with the sheep, and donkeys, and all those sort of things." Murmurs and 'oh, that's so boring!' comments came up from the crowd. Munkus rolled his eyes. "But it's not!" A hush of silence took over again. "It's not boring…because all over the land, people had heard that this child- who was to be very…special- was going to be born, and wise men, and kings came to visit him and pay their homage to him." Munkustrap had begun to speak not to the Jellicles, but to himself almost now, but as he spoke his voice gathered strength, while he seemed to be looking somewhere that no-one else could see.

"And angels went to the shepherds, in their fields, as they tended their sheep," he continued, just how he had heard the story, "And they told the shepherds, 'Come, do not be afraid- follow that star to Bethlehem, and there you will find the baby dressed in swaddling clothes, and lying in a manger." His voice softened. "And they did go. And that night, just as we are assembled now, the wise men and shepherd and kings, and the animals, Mary and Joseph…and the baby were gathered together. And it became known as Christmas, later, in honour of the baby- Jesus, whom many of the humans say is the Christ, or Messiah, their saviour." The look on Munkustrap's face melted and he came back of the world of reality. "And that's it."

Silence ensued for a moment as the cats pondered this. Then, led by Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer, they began to clap. Munkus felt his face flush and he smiled modestly. When it had all died down, and everyone was deep in contemplation again, suddenly someone spoke up.

Pouncival, who never would have been thought to take a tale of this sort seriously, meekly raised a paw. "Munk? What happened to him- the baby Jesus?"

Slowly Munkustrap looked up, at the sky, as if he were pondering this too, and then he looked into the kitten's eyes and spoke again. "He went on to become a great teacher, who my humans often say has made the greatest influence of anyone on this earth. Indeed, he traveled with a group of disciples for three years, and worked so many miracles that he did come to be regarded by masses as the true Messiah."

The familiar hush was upon them, and several of the kittens were peacefully asleep at this point, unable to stay awake. "I bet everyone was quite sad when he died. He must have had a grand funeral." Contemplated Victoria solemnly.

Munkustrap gave a sudden movement and looked to the stars again almost reverently. "No. This man- who so many had believed in and worshipped- he was rejected by his own people, and was killed. They nailed him to a wooden cross and left him to die." His voice shook with emotion as he paused, as if not sure to go on or not. "But on the third day after his death he rose again." The congregation gasped and Munkustrap nodded with a half-smile. "However…that's a story for another day, I'm afraid, as it is getting quite late, am I right, Jelly?"

At this moment, somewhere across London, church bells began to strike one-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten-eleven-twelve, while in the junkyard there was not a dry eye- and for the same reason those bells rang: Jesus. Almost all the cats were struck speechless and thinking, except for a few- Jemima slept on Jellylorum's shoulder, Tumblebrutus's head on her knee. Demeter slipped unobtrusively out of the thoughtful crowd, placing one silky paw on Munkustrap's shoulder. "That was lovely." She whispered to him.

"Thanks." Munkus held her and they both looked up, at the North star- was it shining as brightly as when the wise men were led to Bethlehem by it?- as the chilly winter breeze swept over them, making both shiver and clutch one another tighter. "Demi… ever since I heard that story, and I've heard it a lot, because my humans are very religious, I have wondered. You know, if he was real, and if he was, was he the real 'Saviour'? What about the Everlasting Cat?" He shrugged. "It's so weird to try and figure it all out."

"I don't know," agreed Demeter, moving closer to him, "But I think it sounded awfully real to me. And even if he wasn't their 'Messiah', he must have been a good human, if they loved him so much. Like we love the Everlasting cat." She nuzzled his face. "You are such a good storyteller, Munkus. I'm sure everyone loved that- everyone was so intrigued."

"Well, Dem…'tis the season."

-fin-

A/N: Thankyouthankyouthankyou guys for reviewing! I would answer reviews right now, but I am too tired, and it's Christmas Eve. And I'm back right in time, hehehehe. Merry Christmas, guys.

Le gra go deo,

Eponine


End file.
